D71, W11

7:00 a.m.: Banana nut muffin, med. Dunkacino
12:00 p.m.: Turkey w/mustard & ff mayo on wheat, salad w/ff ranch
2:00 p.m.: Large protein bar
7:00 p.m.: 1/2 organic cheese pizza (350 cal.), iced tea
8:00 p.m.: 1/2 slice banana bread, hot tea w/honey
10:00 p.m.: Animal crackers, iced tea

Water: 5 cups

Exercise: (Lower Body, abs/obliques, back extension) Biked home instead (8+ miles/1 hour)

Thoughts: Eating this weekend was sporatic and not great. I made some good choices, like taking the bun off my sandwich and not getting fries with McD's, but still, not great. This morning's breakfast was bad too because I took Jamie to the train station at 6:30 a.m. but it's not her fault.

I don't feel that great about myself right now. In fact, I couldn't bring myself to step on the scale but I will tomorrow just so I have an "official" weigh-in. After shopping this weekend and seeing theMan & Jamie doing so good and me feeling like a fat ass, I just got down.

I have also cancelled one filming project because I can't take not having time to exercise this week. I also am getting stressed out and exhausted. For instance, I fell asleep at 9:00 p.m. last night and didn't get to some projects. I find myself eating bad, although to my credit, not as bad as previous times. So I had to make some sacrifices. This show I'm addicted too was talking about fear of failure. I always thought I had a fear of failure, but I think it's more a fear of a lot of other things. I'm refusing to feel bad about backing out of the filming and I'm refusing to feel bad about my weight progress. I'm doing great, but I have to take steps to further take care of myself too.